Join us in this human rights
campaign to end the destructive and dehabilitating influences of Windows
addiction. Through education, we may halt the spread of the vulgar ravages
of this platform in our lifetime!
What's the problem?
Due to the combined deceptive efforts of Bill
"AntiChrist" Gates and the infamously immoral Microsoft Corporation,
countless millions are already suffering from this vile affliction, and
countless millions more may yet be led to their figurative doom. The shameless
marketing of the patchwork application, Windows (and all of its various
"upgrades,") as a legitimate platform or Operating System has
left these unfortunates' minds ravished. Brainwashed, they hold firmly
and stubbornly to the belief that they have a functional computer when,
in reality, they have mere hardware, likewise suffering from the cruel
and disfunctional shackles of Microsoft Windows.
So why don't they just buy a Mac?
Like most addicts, Windows users are
unable or unwilling to accept that they have a problem. Unable to accept
responsibility for the foolishness of their purchase, their addictive delusions
drive them to cry to the heavens above that they have a good machine. Some
poor misguided fools even go so far as to say that their paperweight is
better than a MacIntosh. Non-addicts cannot begin to fathom the extent
of destruction to basic common sense the use of this enslaving software
causes. Enjoined by peer pressure from their friends, the pitiful Windows
user continues to invest in his addiction, entrenching himself ever further
into a machine and software that takes 20 times the processing speed of
a Mac and over a decade of expensive upgrades to perform the basic functions
Mac users have been enjoying since 1985. Rather than scorn the poor misfortunates,
we of Stop The Suffering! have chosen to educate them, hoping we may yet
be able to bring them to a semblance of their former sensible selves. Acceptance
of their folly is the first step in a true and meaningful cure.
What comes next?
Next comes Next.
But an addict need not wait for this
next landmark from Apple Corp. to begin the journey towards recovery. The
mere purchase of a used Mac II, easily obtained for the price of a portion
of their current digital paperweight, will provide the afflicted with 20/20
vision, allowing them to remove their rose-colored glasses and see the
truth of Mac.
So you blame IBM for all of this?
No, not at all. IBM is simply a marketing
company. Nor do we blame Intel, a company which has made a number of fine
microprocessors which, under a vastly different OS, can be made to work
as a fine COUNTERPART to a Mac. Convergent Technologies, for example, recognized
the Intel processors for their legitimate forte and put them to work crunching
numbers... The culprit here is Windows, not IBM or Intel. Microsoft is
hell, and Bill Gates gets its profit.
Why all the focus on Windows? Surely
there are other delusions to be conquered?
Indeed, there are other misconceptions.
Sister organizations of STS! continue to work against them. Concepts such
as "The moon is made of green cheese," "Columbus, that fool!"
and "The check's in the mail," still rear their ugly heads from
time to time. But they are nowhere near as dangerous or widespread as the
belief that one can run Windows and still consider the box on his desk
to function as a computer should. In this world of energy crisis and cerebral
decay, we all owe it to society to make the dispelling of this myth our
highest priority.
Okay, I see why it's important. What
can I do to help?
Here are a few things YOU can do:
1) Pray for the addict who still suffers.
2) Don't be an enabler. Refuse to buy
your friends and family any more Windows software or IBM-compatible hardware.
This may seem harsh and uncaring, but it's far better than feeding their
habit.
3) Don't listen silently and nod along
as they ramble on about their abuses. Expose them to the ridicule they
so richly deserve. This will help counteract the peer pressure factor of
fellow addicts and may eventually bring them to see their beliefs for what
they really are: the misguided and dillusional ramblings of a Gates victim.
4) Purchase a boat, invite them for a
ride in it. Ask them to bring along their computer (It does no good to
argue the term with these addicts while they remain under the influence.)
Be sure to conveniently forget to bring along an anchor. This will give
them the opporunity to put their machines to a more appropriate use. Don't
worry about water damage. Soaking that box couln't possibly make it any
less functional than it already is.
5) SEND us your MONEY. Apple stock isn't
cheap, and I hope to retire soon.
Don't hesitate. Act on one of the above
today. And remember: Friends don't let friends use Windows.
